As a man, I am against gay marriage. Before all of you jackasseslight your pink torches and start braiding your AIDS awareness ribbonsinto my noose, allow me to explain–even though I don’t really give afuck because everyone on the internet is a tough guy and, truth betold, in real life I could fight all of you all at the same time withmy hands tied behind my back and my pants on backwards. So fuck you.
Gay marriage is wrong.
My mother has a gay hairdresser. During one of my yearlyconversations with her, the topic of gay marriage came up. Before anyof you smart asses ask, I didn’t bring it up and she didn’t bring it upbecause she thinks I’m gay. Also, she doesn’t think I’m gay. This iswhat she said of the Prop-Hate sensation.
‘Carlo wants me to keep all my fingers crossed that this gay marriage thing doesn’t go through.’
‘Why is that?’ I said.
‘That’s what I asked him. He says he can tell that his boyfriend reallywants to get married, and that getting married would completely ruintheir gay sex life.’
‘Why is that?’ I said.
‘That’s what I asked him. He says he can tell that his boyfriend reallywants to get married, and that getting married would completely ruintheir gay sex life.’
Son of a bitch, I thought. They’ve done it again. Women ruinedgayness. Women and their crazy obsession with marriage ruined thecommitment-free sanctuary of gayness for all gay men.
When America decided that slavery was unjust, we didn’t make allwhite people slaves too, we ended slavery. Find one way in whichmarriage is different.
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