Do women hate sex — and they do — because of some kind ofwoman-guilt from an outdated puritan societal dogma? Or perhaps astigma of guilt or a fear of abandonment? No. None of these things areit. Women hate sex simply because they are lousy at it.

This can be proved in a quick stroll down the checkout aisle at yourlocal market of groceries — a place thick to the rafters with women.Take a look at some of their magazines and you will no doubt see arunning theme: ‘Ten Ways to not suck in bed’, ‘Six Things to do to YourMan that aren’t Lay There Like a Futon’, and ‘Honestly who gives half afuck about socks being on or off? Jesus Christ that’s pathetic’.

Also, much in the same way that a wall probably doesn’t like ordoesn’t care about playing tennis with you, it’s definitely not yourfault. Don’t let your sympathetic male compassion get the better ofyou. You could be dancing around like a maniac and pulling stunts outof your figurative ass like Johnny Magic the Wicked Awesome — maybesome whirl-arounds and in your face spikes from across the court — it’sreally up to you as the man — but no matter what, the wall will remainunfazed. It just sits there doing nothing like a lump on a log probablythinking that it wants a new expensive coat of paint.